Behind the Election: Bush Cheated 04

Behind the Election: Bush Cheated<P> </P>It was early 2004 and the Bush reelection campaign was understandably shaken by the realization that they were not going to be running against the latte drinking, Volvo driving, gay civil unions, peace nik Howard Dean.<P> Instead they found themselves up against a man who had volunteered for the Viet Nam war, a comparison that put George W. Bush's National Guard service and decades of falling down, pissing on himself drunkenness in an unfavorable light.<P> Shallow Throat: Even before we knew who the democrat candidate was going to be, we knew we were going to have major problems, because let's face it, what we had to work with was a turd. I mean spin was not the word for what it would take to dress this one up and make it presentable. But Rove was on our asses to produce. Then Kerry clinched the nomination. I thought Rove was going to burst an artery. He called and started screaming about Plan B. Rove said "go after Kerry's strengths." Only problem was Nixon had already tried. I was about to tell Rove to go Cheney himself, but I have no desire to end up at Gitmo, if you know what I mean. Then Roy Hoffman surfaced. He had just read the book about Kerry's Viet Nam service and let's just say being outed as a blood thirsty civilian killer didn't set too well.<P> Shallow Throat: Nixon had tapped John O'Neill to go after Kerry back in '71. Nixon was not about to admit to what a quagmire that whole commie eradication program we called the Viet Nam War had become. Kerry had punked O'Neill on The Dick Cavett Show debate, and O'Neill was still spoiling for a fight. Plus the GOP takes care of it's attack dogs and O'Neill owed us big time.<P> Shallow Throat: Even though Swift Boat Liars to Smear Kerry were having an effect, we still had major problems in several swing states, what with all the new voters being registered. Jeb and Cruella Harris had pulled a fast one in 2000 with their highly inaccurate felon list. Problem was too many nosy newspapers had been sniffing around trying to see if we had a new not very accurate felon list for 2004.<P> Shallow Throat: We had the church going hicks in our pocket, but Rove always wants more, and the economy was stinking like yesterday's fish. We came up with a bible banning mailing to divert attention from the pocketbook issues that the RNC sent to all those inbred high school drop outs in West Virginia and Arkansas. <P> Shallow Throat: Internal numbers showed Bush tanking in Oregon, Nevada, West Virginia and Ohio. Luckily the RNC had hired Nathan Sproul to focus on voter registration in several key states. Unfortunately a majority of newly registered voters intended to vote for Kerry. We knew Nathan was resourceful and would know what to do. <P> Shallow Throat: Fortunately the ultimate Plan B was in place. Thank God the companies that count votes are all owned by republicans.<P> Shallow Throat: We were down to the wire and Ohio was do or die. We had Uncle Tom Whitewell so far up our asses his saliva was drenching my underware. But you gotta do what you gotta do. The problem with minority voter suppression is you can't get hard numbers, it's all good but it's all guess work. And we needed to win Ohio and Florida or Bush was a first term loser just like his daddy. And if there is one goal W has in life it is to do at least one thing better than his father.<P> In the time of chimpanzees Bush was a monkey,<BR> Butane in Rove’s veins as he ran the junkie.<BR> Newscasters lying while we tube feed the vegetables,<BR> Dog food dinners for the grannies stealin’ Tylenol.<BR> Kill all your brain cells and put it in neutral,<BR> Iraq is flamin’ with the loser and the cruise control. <BR> Babies in Gitmo is how Rummy plays D,<BR> Gamble with democracy, try to kill diplomacy.<P> Someone came sayin’ I’m insane to complain<BR> About a looted treasury and a stain on my country.<BR> Can’t believe what they want us to breathe,<BR> You get a lungful of mercury and a moron in the lead.<P> So you change some votes with a few keystrokes<BR> Doin’ cages in Florida, and lines in Ohio.<P> George says he’s emperor<BR> But he’s a cheater baby<BR> He stole the election (fascism meltdown)<BR> George says he’s emperor<BR> But he’s a loser baby<BR> So why not impeach him.<P> Forces of evil in a bozo nightmare,<BR> Playing all the rubes with a phony echo chamber.<BR> One is a weasel as the others sport the flag;<BR> A mother alone gets her son back in a bag<P> With the rerun wars from Mr. Cocaine nose job,<BR> The devious bullshit of a race war flip flop<BR> A GI hung himself with a guitar string;<BR> A slab of cannon fodder and he’s hanging so he doesn’t sing.<P> I can’t write if you can’t relate,<BR> Trade the cash for a gay bash for the body for the hate.<BR> And this time it’s a piece of crack<BR> We’ve fallen for the bad times, we’re choking on the nightmares.<P> George says he’s emperor<BR> But he’s a cheater baby<BR> He stole the election (fascism meltdown)<BR> George says he’s emperor<BR> But he’s a loser baby<BR> So why not impeach him.<P> “If this were a dictatorship it’d be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I’m the dictator.”<P> George says he’s emperor<BR> But he’s a cheater baby<BR> He stole the election. (I can’t believe this)<BR> George says he’s emperor<BR> But he’s a loser baby<BR> So why not impeach him.<P> George says he’s emperor<BR> We’re all losing baby<BR> So we’ve got to change it (Sprechen sie Deuthsche baby?).<BR> George says he’s emperor<BR> We’re all losing baby<BR> So we’ve got to change it. (Or there’ll be nothin’ to be sayin’).<P> George says he’s emperor<BR> We’re all losing baby<BR> So we’ve got to change it. (I can’t believe this)<BR> George says he’s emperor<BR> We’re all losing baby<BR> So we’ve got to change it.<BR> <P>